Issue 5 : May 27, 2009
Latest Happenings:
Nothing major as most big news will come out of E3. A couple of things have been revealed lately, like Tony Hawk Ride and a slew of Guitar/DJ/Band Hero titles. I’m already sick to death of peripherals and Activision is swiftly becoming the new gaming anti-christ. That now famous quote from that Howdy-Doody looking Activistion Exec about how they dumped Ghostbusters because they couldn’t “exploit” it year after year still blows my mind. Oh yeah, can’t forget about the just announced
Anywho, lots of rumblings in rumorville. Slim PS3, new Kojima game that’s possibly a Metal Gear (or 2), new PSP revision, price drops, bundles, unannounced games, lots of good stuff. The Mass Effect 2 preview in this month’s Official Xbox Magazine is an excellent article. New characters, tidbits on the story, fixing what didn’t work in ME1, all great stuff. They’re hyping the story to be monumental, especially the ending. I can’t imagine how they can top the ‘wow’ factor of ME1, but it sounds like they’re crafting the greatest sci-fi story told since Star Wars (OT of course).
As for new releases, the delay of Batman still annoys me to no end. Infamous did come out this week and it looks awesome. It’s PS3 only, so I can’t play it yet. This is probably the most under-hyped big game of the summer.
Irresponsible Reviews:
Note: These are called “irresponsible reviews” because I’m basing my review on a very short time playing the game. A responsible reviewer would play a game in it’s entirety before making a blanket statement damning it to the ether of shovelware. I’m not that guy.
- Bionic Commando (Retail)
- Playtime: 0 Minutes … as in never played it, not even the demo
- Review: Hey, the title of the blog is irresponsible news and reviews, so I’m living up to my commitment. I haven’t played this game. It's my blog and I'll do what I want! I'm ChubbyNinja Bitch! Here’s my take on this game: It looks pretty, story is incidental, the nature of the gameplay will be vomit inducing to anyone who gets even a little queezy from motion sickness, battles are ‘meh’ and the controls suck. I’ve seen reviews ranging from horrible to pretty good. But, they all fault the same areas, which I’ve outlined above. It’s just too damn hard to do what you want to do. And you’ll throw up while you’re trying to do it. Plus, I automatically deduct points for a game that’s demo is multiplayer only. Screw that.
- Verdict: Save your vomit (and your cash) for another day.
- Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare (Retail)
- Playtime: 3 hours
- Review: This is a great game, no question about it. Graphics are beautiful, controls are solid, story is well thought-out and believable, fun factor is definitely there. The presentation blows away most anything to date and that is what makes this game not only stand the test of time, but also stand above the rest. That first mission where you’re on the tanker, that’s genius…cinematic and engaging. Note, I do get motion sickness pretty bad with FPS’, but this one wasn’t too bad in short bursts. I didn’t play through the whole game, for some reason it’s not my cup of tea. But, I cannot deny just how damn good it is.
- Verdict: Purchase (pronounced ‘Pur-chay-see’), especially since it’s down to $40 new
- Paperboy (Demo - XBLA)
- Playtime: 5 minutes
- Review: Nostalgia almost reeled me in. I remember playing Paperboy in the arcade and the shitty NES version years ago. Even my wife remembered this game and she’s no gamer. I thought, I have some M-soft points burning a hole in my pocket, let’s get something. Thank God I tried the demo first. This game ..um... Jump to the verdict.
- Verdict: This game was shit back in the day and its shit now. Screw that little bastard with the radio control car. Avoid this turd.
Status Report:
My family got me Blue Dragon for my B-day this month. I’m 5.5 hours in and I’m really enjoying it. Sure, it’s not super-epic with ground-breaking features. But, hey, I like it. It’s like Lost Odyssey which I likened to comfort food. Mistwalker is an amazing development house, and I thank Sakaguchi san and Uematsu san for keeping these types of games alive.
I’m an admitted achievement whore, and Blue Dragon doesn’t give up achievements very easily, either. Which is a testament, to me at least, to how good the game is. For me to commit to a 40 hour game, with few achievements and a reported weak story, the game has to be pretty dang good. Simple, traditional turn-based battles are the main course and that’s what I love. The strategy behind turn-based battles is just so fun. As compared to coming off of
I’ll play this through the summer, while taking breaks to wrap up Assassin’s Creed and I’ll go ‘cheevemint whoring with Kung Fu Panda, too. My gamerscore is at 8795 and I’m anxious to break 10K! Hey, I’d play something new if there was anything worth playing that just came out or is coming out soon. Friggin Batman delay. Maybe I’ll check out Prototype.
On the Horizon:
Four Syllables. E3 next week.
Now, for something totally unrelated:
My two favorite acronyms are NFC and GFY. NFC = No Fat Chicks and GFY = Go ‘F Yourself. Not sure why, both seem to find their way into my vernacular quite often.



