Issue 3: Mid-April, 2009

Latest Happenings:

The pre-E3 hype machine is starting to rumble to life. Exciting times are on the horizon. 2007 and then 2008 were arguably two of the best years our industry have ever seen. Games like Mass Effect, Bioshock, Halo 3 (still a multiplayer juggernaut), Call of Duty 4, Assassin’s Creed, Uncharted, Fable II, Gears of War 2…all games that blew the lid off gaming in one way or another. And, they almost all have sequels, or continuations in the case of Halo and Fable, on the way. So far we know about those sequels, with Assassin’s Creed 2 just popping up to tease. The setting sounds really interesting and being that I’m an amateur history buff, I like what they’re doing with the series. Granted, the first game wasn’t perfect, but they did do a lot of things right. It sounds like they listened to the fans and are learning from their mistakes. I also expect there to be a few big-name surprises at E3, as well. Oh, and the obligatory “here’s an old classic that you’ve all been waiting for…buckle your seatbelts, core gaming audience….expect we’ve dumbed it down so Aunt Linda can play…..I present you with….Kid Icarus can Cook! for the Nintendo Wii and DSi!” I hate you, Reggie Fils-Aime. I hate you.

Oh, and the rumors of a new PSP for Christmas continue to gain momentum. I’m intrigued, Sony. Tell me more.

Irresponsible Reviews:

Note: These are called “irresponsible reviews” because I’m basing my review on a very short time playing the game. A responsible reviewer would play a game in it’s entirety before making a blanket statement damning it to the ether of shovelware. I’m not that guy.

• Tom Clancy’s Hawx (demo)
• Playtime: 10 Minutes
• Review: I haven’t played a flying game since Afterburner II on the Genesis/Arcade. I liked those types of games back in the day, but as they progressed they moved towards the simulator type of game. I’m more of an arcade style of gamer. What lured me to try Hawx was the graphics and the google maps technology. My understanding is that Ubisoft partnered with google to have real time updated images of real places via satellite. That’s very cool! They also partnered with real companies to develop the in game planes. Beyond that, the graphics were unbelievable. The control was decent and the gameplay was pretty fun. I didn’t know exactly what I was doing, but it wasn’t too complicated.
• Verdict: A pleasantly surprised thumbs up!

• Chronicles of Riddick: Assault on Dark Athena (demo)
• Playtime: 15 minutes
• Review: Heard good things about the first Riddick game on Xbox and initially heard good things about this one, too. The demo was straight forward and easy to get into. The graphics are very good, especially the menus….very well done. Control was very good, as well. The atmosphere pulled you in. I got stuck in a drone lab thing and couldn’t figure out how to get out. That coupled with my never-ending bout with motion sickness when playing FPS’ ultimately led me to turn the demo off.
• Verdict: A lot of potential and very promising. I liked what I played, before I got stuck and almost barfed. If you liked Halo and Bioshock, this is probably a worthwhile purchase. Thumbs up!

• Dig Dug (Xbox Live Arcade)
• Playtime: One hour
• Review: I wonder what someone in their teens would think of this game? I, like many gamers, grew up with gaming and cut my teeth on games like Dig Dug. There is nostalgia there. I remember borrowing this game from my older cousin along with the paddles. It was like Christmas. This was back when games for the Atari 2600 cost a lot of money and you couldn’t rent them. There weren’t exactly easily accessible. So, to try out a game was truly something special. The xbox live release isn’t any different than the arcade version, aside from the matte graphics and achievements. It’s still simple, still challenging in the later stages, and still mildly entertaining.
• Verdict: I got this game for 200 MS Points on Live. That’s $2.50 in real world dollars and about as cheap as a “full” game will ever get on Live. I wouldn’t pay 400 ($5) points for it, though. So, if you can get it cheap and appreciate the classics….eh, why not.

Status Report:

Took a break from Star Ocean IV. Not a bad game, I just needed something that moved at a little more of a brisk pace. Popped in Fable 2 and downloaded Knothole Island. It was very fun and the weather effects were fantastic. But, it only lasted a couple of hours. I wanted to, and ultimately did, shoot that village leader in the face. But you know what, $10 for these add-on levels is a bit much, even if they are good.

Anyway, played through Knothole Island, completed those challenges. Then went on to grind on some achievements. Fable 2 is one of those rare games that I can keep going to. Usually, when I beat a game, it’s done. D E D dead and done. I never go back. But, this game keeps compelling me to come back just because it’s fun. I spent an hour last night just exploring (and resisting arrest, but I digress). I’m really looking forward to the new expansion coming out in May. I have high hopes.

Latest Haul:

Have I ever mentioned how much I love Cheap Ass Gamer? Due to the beloved website, I scored four new games for $65 last weekend at Blockbuster. Scored Uncharted for $20, Heavenly Sword for $15, Folklore for $10 and Assassin's Creed (Xbox 360) for $15. Now, I just need a PS3. At least I'll be ready when I finally get it later this year. I have to give myself some credit though. I did pass on Ratchet and Clank ToD for $20, Lego Batman for $20, and a bunch of other games for less than $20 that I normally would have picked up.

On the Horizon:

Couple of quick things here……

Batman: Arkham Asylum Collectors Edition – Pic of the contents has finally come out. It looks cool and all, but is it really worth $40 for a batarang, journal about the villains and a nondescript “bonus DVD”? These CE/LE’s are getting a little old. And, to answer your question, yes I will be in line to reserve the ultra-mega-limited-collectors edition of Mass Effect 2, so suck it.

Final Fantasy VII Advent Children Complete – The re-envisioned “masterpiece” (not so much) is on it’s way to Blu Ray on June 2^nd. This version just launched in Japan with a playable demo of FF13. It isn’t confirmed that the domestic release will come with the demo, but nobody expects it to. Even though the original version was just okay, I’m really excited for this. … When will I learn?

Issue 2 - April 4, 2009

Letter from the Editor…
Wow, so this newsletter actually made it to a 2nd issue. It’s been two weeks since the first one, that seems like a good span of time between updates. Not a whole lot going on lately in videogame land. This time of year is the ‘quiet before the storm’ that is E3 and my gut is telling me that there will be big news out of E3 this year. Particularly from Sony and Nintendo. I should also note that GDC wrapped up last week. Nothing earth-shattering came from the conference, but I don’t think we should expect big announcements from that event anyway. Oh, the PS2 dropped to $99.99. Oh boy.

Latest Happenings:
So, I have a problem. I sometimes struggle with irrational urges when it comes to gaming. For the past 4 months, something in my cranium has convinced me that I need a PSP. It’s been out since 2005, but it’s only now that I need one. Realistically, I have no business getting one. I don’t game ‘on-the-go’ and I have more than enough to keep me busy on the 360 (plus the PS3 on the way!!). Rational won over and I ordered a 4 gb Sansa Fuze (Thanks for the recommendation, Simosaurus!), since I really needed an MP3 player. I’m pleased with my decision. Just for reference, here are the games on the PSP that I wanted to play. It’s a surprisingly long list:

- Final Fantasy VII – Crisis Core
- God of War – Chains of Olympus
- Gitaroo Man Lives!
- Parappa the Rappa
- SNK Anthology
- Dracula X Chronicles
- Wipeout Pulse
- Metal Gear Solid Portable Ops
- Metal Gear Solid Digital Comic
- Star Ocean – First Departure
- Star Ocean – Second Departure
- Capcom Classis Remixed
- Final Fantasy Dissidia – Coming Summer 2009
- Kingdom Hearts – Birth By Sleep – Coming Winter 09/10 (?)

Irresponsible Reviews:
Note: These are called “irresponsible reviews” because I’m basing my review on a very short time playing the game. A responsible reviewer would play a game in it’s entirety before making a blanket statement damning it to the ether of shovelware. I’m not that guy.

• Guitar Hero: Metallica (demo)
o Playtime: 15 Minutes
o Review: Demo had 4 songs, 2 of which were from Metallica. I haven’t played GH in about a year, I thought World Tour stunk and completely lost interest in the franchise, to be honest. This game doesn’t really change the formula, but if you’re a fan of the band or a fan of good hard rock, then this is a fun game. The visuals changed only slightly in that they went with a more concert vibe than lame grammy show wannabe video shoot style of the previous GH’s. I had fun with the demo. Not sure I’d pay $60 for this, but I did have fun.
o Verdict: 7.5 out of 10 if you’re a metal fan. 5.5 if you are not.

• Kung Fu Panda
o Playtime: 2 ½ hours
o Review: Fun game! It is geared to the younger set, but it’s still a solid action beat-em-up game. Levels aren’t difficult, but you do need to pay attention if you’re out for the achievements. Overall, this is about 6 hours of no-brain gaming and easy achievements, and I love me some ‘cheese mints! Visuals and voice work is in-line with the movie, which is a good thing.
o Verdict: I got this game bundled with Lego Indy on sale at Gamestop for $12 = Great deal! Definitely worth buying, even at the $30 regular price (for both KFP and Lego Indy, which is worth $30 alone).

• Bionic Commando: Rearmed (Xbox Live Arcade)
o Playtime: 30 Minutes
o Review: This was the first XBLA release that I was really looking forward to. I loved BC on the 8 bit NES and actually beat the game on a fluke run. The end boss was Mecha Hitler (cool concept). This one is a direct remake with super-enhanced visuals. It looks great! It plays pretty good. But, it’s just not as fun as I remember it. It’s one of those things where the memory surpasses the reality and this one didn’t age great. It’s not a horrible game, but I have no desire to go back and play more.
o Verdict: For $10 or $15 on XBLA, you can get more for your money. Try the demo, you may like it. I give it a 6 out of 10.

Status Report:
Currently Playing – Star Ocean: The Last Hope on Xbox 360

Only 12 hours in and on the 3rd 'planet'. The game is fun, but I feel like it's gonna drag on. I need to grind away and get into it some more.

On the Horizon:
June = Batman: Arkham Asylum, Ghostbusters,
August = Darksiders (look this one up, fingers are crossed that it plays as good as it looks!)

ChubbyNinja’s Irresponsible Game News & Reviews: Issue 1 : March 2009

Letter from the Editor…

This is the first in a regular series of insights into my gaming life. A “blog” if you will, although I detest the notion of mindless meanderings for the masses on the interwebs. I have no misconception that anyone will read my iteration of mindless meanderings except approximately 66% of those who actually force fed the link. Where this will ultimately land, I’m not sure. It’s doubtful that I’ll actually keep this up past the two week mark. But, hey, it’ll keep you busy for the next five to seven minutes.

Latest Happenings:

My beloved surprised me late last week when she revealed that she would reward me with a PS3 upon completion of my graduate degree, which is on track for December of this year. If all goes well, it will have taken me five years from start to finish. Longer than it could have, but there were some meaningful pitstops along the way, so I’m not regretful that it’s taken this long.

While I continue to enjoy the latest JRPG to find it’s way into my Xbox 360, I find my mind wandering to the thought of cracking open the high-gloss corrugated goodness containing a new gaming console. Even if said console has been on the market for some time, there is an intoxicating rapture that consumes me whenever I sort through the contents and set up that new machine. Who knew that component cables and power cords could have such a strange effect? These lamentations have more than influenced the contents of this entry of CNsIGN&R, no doubt about it.

Irresponsible Reviews:

Note: These are called “irresponsible reviews” because I’m basing my review on a very short time playing the game. A responsible reviewer would play a game in it’s entirety before making a blanket statement damning it to the ether of shovelware. I’m not that guy.

• Watchmen: Time is Nigh (demo)
• Playtime: 15 Minutes; 5 minutes of loading screen, 5 minutes of bland cinemas, 5 minutes of bland playtime
• Review: Being a new fan of the graphic novel, I was looking forward to this game. Early reports were promising. Then the initial reviews came in. They were rough, one reviewer claimed that they would rather play Streets of Rage 2 on the Genesis. They were right. What a boring game. It looks pretty, especially for a downloadable game. But, wow, there is no excitement pulling you from one dimly lit room to another. Even the cinemas, with graphics modeled after the graphic novel, are awful. The dialogue is terrible, too. Punch, kick, grab, repeat 400 times. And, Rorscach runs like he has to poop. Not fun.
• Verdict: Fans should download for the immediate jolt of excitement to play as Rorschach, then turn it off when you realize what a terrible time you’re having.
• Ninja Blade (demo)
• Playtime: 10 Minutes; well, about 3 minutes, just the same 3 minutes a few times.
• Review: The premise, although contrite, is fun. You’re a BA ninja jumping from a helicopter into the Tokyo skyline. The game is half quicktime events and half traditional action gaming. Both suck. The QTE’s look fun, but having to do them over when you fail takes the fun away immediately. It removes you from the gameplay which is always the kiss of death. Then, once you land on a horizontal surface, the traditional action fighting is boring. Keep slamming a combination of regular and strong attack and that’s it. Yay.
• Verdict: Stick with Ninja Gaiden.
• Tomb Raider: Anniversary
• Playtime: 10 Minutes
• Review: I’ve never been a fan of the Tomb Raider games, but that was because I hadn’t given them a shot. Why not, I thought. I probably started with the wrong game in the series. This is a remake of the first TR game and it shows. PS2 quality graphics = unacceptable. Combined with control, camera, and puzzles from yesteryear, this is one to avoid.
• Verdict: Try Legend or Underworld instead. Me? I’m done with the series.
• Lost: Via Domus
• Playtime: 20 Minutes
• Review: First 4 minutes = wow, this is kinda good. I’m getting into this. 5 minutes and onward = I’m lost in a f#$%ing jungle and I want to slap the sour puss off of Kate. I’ve replayed this sequence 4 times and I’m still lost in this God forsaken jungle. Bonus points for really making me feel like I’m lost in a jungle?
• Verdict: I wanted to like this game. But the gameplay is so awful that it’s just not fun. I had an interaction with Kate that made me dislike her even more and then I got lost in a jungle. Just watch the show instead.

Status Report:

Currently Playing – Star Ocean: The Last Hope on Xbox 360

9 ½ hours in and enjoying the game. Just beat the second boss and wrapping up first mission/visit to the 2^nd planet. Won’t win any awards for story, but it’s moving along. Very Japanese in presentation, which isn’t a bad thing. Battles are very fun and that ultimately saves the game from overall mediocrity. I’ll keep playing with a goal of beating the game by the time Batman: Arkham Asylum comes out in early June.

Latest Haul:

Two weekends ago Gamestop had a buy 2/get 1 free sale. I bought Blue Dragon, Tomb Raider:Anniversary and Lost:Via Domus. All three for $36. I really only wanted Blue Dragon. Well, Lost and TR sucked and Blue Dragon stunk of cigarettes…literally. Plus, with the impending arrival of a PS3, I finally had a valid reason to pick up Metal Gear Solid 4!! Happy Happy! Joy Joy! I returned the three games and found a new copy of the limited edition of MGS4 at a local Gamestop for $60 (originally it was $80). Got there and it was all beat up. As a collector at heart, I wasn’t having any of that nonsense. Then, I looked over and there was a used copy of the limited edition for $40 (same price as the regular game since Gamestop doesn’t recognize special editions). And, this one was in great condition! So, for $2 more than I originally spent on those awful games, I left the store with a mint copy of the LE that has the soundtrack and bonus Blu Ray disc. Needless to say, I’m quite happy with a game sitting on my shelf that I can’t play for a few more months. But, it’s there. Waiting. As am I. By the way, the soundtrack for MGS4 is amazing.

Next up….selling Street Fighter IV and fightpad. Right now, I think those funds are going towards a PSP. Yes, I know I have major problems.

Hot Sites:

• Kotaku.com
• Cheapassgamer.com
• Xbox360achievements.com
• Joystiq.com